From my lips to your ear

Tony Fratto
Assistant Deputy White House Press Secretary

“Average family income is down due to the significant wrenching hits that our economy took in 2001 and 2002, so no one should be surprised that a bubble economy created in the late 1990s and 2000, where economic data were skewed, would take some time to recover.” - Me, Tony Fratto

Yeah, I said that, I said it this morning so I sure as heck ought to recognize it, my own words, me, Tony Fratto, the President's Assistant Deputy White House Press Secretary, or as I like to call myself, The Tough Guy's Tough Guy. Take a pinch of 911, throw in a reliable Clinton reference, and bada bing, you got a reliable explanation that nobody should feel like disputing without looking, how should I say it, a little suspect.

That's about all I've said the past few days, though. I gotta tell you, August in D.C. is a real snoozefest, and I don't even have my boss-babe Dana here in town to help me keep my eyes open. All of 'em out of town, the bastards, just me, Tony Fratto, the president's Assistant Deputy White House Press Secretary, left here to answer the occasional question.

Yeah, okay, so the average family income has been going down the past few years, but what about me, Tony Fratto? What's my future looking like? Sure, I may be the Assistant Deputy White House Press Secretary, but I dunno, the path ahead is looking kind of mixed right now. I got the news that Big Tony is getting the itch to leave, so I figure Deputy White House Press Secretary is as good as mine, but after that, what?

I sent an email out to Josh Bolton, you know, just a couple thoughts, like hey, if you give Dana Big Tony's job, who's gonna listen to what she says? Cause she's a babe, I know I can't concentrate on a thing she says, so how are people that are less jaded than me, Tony Fratto, gonna deal with a dame like that? Make her a spokesman for HUD or something, I say, just a suggestion, you might want to consider a guy like me instead.

And of course I don't hear back from Josh, natch, cause he's on friggin vacation just like everybody else.

I'm bored, that's the problem, nobody to play ping pong with or drink a cup of Joe with except for some low-level staffers, and I'm not about to go there. I've just been screwing around with the computer, you know, learning some of that Photoshop magic. Here's a picture that makes it look like I'm smacking Hillary right on the ass with a ping pong paddle. Pretty great, huh?

I sent a copy out to Rove and he just loved it. Said he was going to forward it on to the Vice President. Maybe Cheney will be impressed with my can do spirit, who knows. This afternoon, I'm gonna work on one with John Edwards in a dress, and Barack in a dress, and all of em, all the candidates in a dress except for Hillary. That should get a good chuckle and a wink or two.

All right, it's always great talking at you people, so until next time, this is Tony Fratto, Assistant Deputy White House Press Secretary, not a man to be trifled with.



©2007, Mark Hoback