From my lips to your ear

Tony Fratto
Assistant Deputy White House Press Secretary

"That sounds like Georgetown cocktail party analysis. The reasons we went to Iraq are well understood and had to do with WMDs, enforcing UN sanctions. To the extent that oil has anything to do with our engagement in Iraq today, it is the danger that al Qaeda could obtain control of oil assets and use them to threaten our interests. - Me, Tony Fratto

Yeah, I said that, I said it yesterday, I was on the TV with a mike in my mouth, better than having a dick in my mouth like Alan Greenspan. You can take that to the bank, bank boy, because I said it, me, Tony Fratto, the President's Assistant Deputy White House Press Secretary, or as I like to call myself, The Tough Guy's Tough Guy. Well, I used to call myself that, but now I work for a broad, so life kind of sucks if you're me. Ha ha. Not really, but I was having such a good run with the oral metaphor that I had to say that. The truth of the matter is that Dana is a babe. Seriously.

Alan Greenspan, I gotta say, that guy is some piece of work, isn't he? Dangerous. I am saddened that it is politically inconvenient to acknowledge what everyone knows: the Iraq war is largely about oil, he says, and I say kiss my ass old man.

Everybody does not know that, and the geezer has a hell of a lot of nerve to assume they do. Ask the average Joe who Greenspan is, and they'll tell you "that economist guy. He's real smart."

Yeah, right. You know, they say the same thing about Al Gore, except for the economist part, and I guess that tells you a lot about the difference between brains and brawn. Not all of us are lucky enough to have both.

As the President's Assistant Deputy White House Press Secretary it's my sacred duty to ensure that this story has all the shelf life of leftover escargot, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job of keeping it page sixed. Like I tell my network boys, it ain't news if you can't draw a picture of it. Hell, I'm willing to bet most of you don't even know what I'm referring to here, matter of fact, I've completely forgotten what I'm talking about.

All right, people, O.J. is on FOX, so until next time, this is Tony Fratto, Assistant Deputy White House Press Secretary, not a man to be trifled with.



2007, Mark Hoback