Be Vewy, Vewy quiet.
I'm Cweating a Meme.

Ann Coulter

July 14, 2005


Karl Rove makes me sick some times. Sick with envy, that is, envy of his ability to be so consistently right about things. Oktoberfest of 2003 he took me aside, back behind the hay bails, and said "Annie, let me tell you something. Two years from now, they'll be releasing 'The Dukes of Hazzard' as a feature film. And there still won't be anything that the government can do about it."

What Karl was saying, and quite rightly so, is that it would take more than a couple of years to get the proper ebb and flow of societal information under satisfactory control. It could take four or five years. Until then, it's important to discount the value of any public discourse in other ways, such as groupthink. Groupthink is easy. That's what Karl told me. And now that I've got that wild hair out of my ass, The Committee is teaching this old dog young pup some new tricks.

This week, my assignment is to create a meme. A meme, according to Rush, is an idea or an image that infects the population by means of repetition and mutation until it takes over the portion of the brain that processes the... uh... you know... like when you think of Howard Dean you think of a red-faced, crazy, screaming man. And if you don't, all someone has to do is go 'YEEEGAAHHH', and everybody else will laugh and ignore you.

Okay, now. Karl Rove was right again. The real story about Joseph C. Wilson IV (hee hee) was not that Bush lied about Saddam seeking uranium in Africa; the real story was that Clown Wilson and his paper-pusher wife, Valerie Plame, were a bunch of self-important low-down scheming clowns.

Clown Wilson thrust himself on to the nation in July 2003 much the way that Bill Clinton used to thrust himself on elderly colored washerwomen in Arkansas latrines. When Clown Wilson wrote an op-ed for the New York Times claiming Bush had lied in his State of the Union address, people thought he was just clowning around. Then Clown Wilson implied that Bush was misinterpreting his silly report, and using it to prove his point that there was uranium in Africa. Duh. Clown Wilson couldn't even find uranium if it flicked him on his big red snout.

Here's a graphic I used last night on the Hannity and Colmes show.

Pretty funny, huh. And yet, it serves as an important visual bridge for my meme. Now when you hear the term Clown Wilson, you have an immediate mental image of just how funny my words are, and how my picture is preferable to image of the guy on the left. He really does look like a clown when you make a few small changes. It's so funny. I just can't get over it. I would never wear polka dots.

Anyway, on the show last night, Colmes started teasing me with all these difficult (though irrelevant) questions, so I just started saying 'Clown Wilson' over and over until he stopped me by asking me a simple question - 'Are you some sort of an idiot, Ann?'.

'No, Alan', I responded, holding up the picture, 'but this guy is'. Well, Alan breaks out into a grin and is trying to keep from laughing, and Hannity starts giggling over on his side, and before you know it, we were all laughing so hard that they had to cut away to Aruba.


2005, Mark Hoback