Ahmadinejad: 'You Want Funny? We Got Funny!'

Iranian President Shecky Ahmadinejad today once against denounced the publication of the now infamous Prophet Mohammed cartoons, and warned Jews 'everywhere and anywhere' to 'stay the hell out of the comedy business'.

"Jews, they don't know from funny," said President Ahmadinejad, speaking from the lounge of The Unhinged Bomber, one of the most popular comedy clubs in Tehran. "They all kvetch on about how Jewish comedians are the best in the world. Feh. Hockin me a chinick. Don't you believe it. Islamic comedy is the funniest in the world, particularly our fine young Iranian comics. That Bosho Radinajasha, what a meshugeneh. He has me laughing like a monkey in a bowl of Borani Esfanaaj."

President Shecky also gave praise to Hamshahri, the Iranian newspaper which has announced a Holocaust cartoon contest. "Isn't that ironic," beamed Ahmadinejad. "I've got nachas, let me tell you. We are spinning the Zionist worm like a dreidle. The Jews make cartoons of the Prophet with a missile on his anointed head. Oh, the tsuris we have for them. We make even funnier cartoon about their extermination. Good stuff, eh? Death to Israel, as we like to say here at The Bomber."

 The cartoon contest will have a dozen winners, each of which will receive a shiny new gold coin, and a white Lacoste polo shirt with the little alligator on it. The alligator has long been seen as a symbol of fortune in Iran, dating back to the ancient folk tale "How Stumpy Got His Humps'.


2006, Mark Hoback