"...and so together we go forward, and the truth is ever in pursuit, so be not like the beggar who might bite the hand of the man who offers him sustenance, but rather like the mother who waits with patience for her child."

"Well, uh, bless you father, and thanks a bushel for the stick."

"Ah, my son, this is not just any stick, it is a stick grown thick with history, for what I now present to you is the very same stick that Saint Patrick used to beat the snakes when he drove them out of Ireland."

(Holy cow, the Pope must have really spent a lot
of dough on this stick, and all I brought him was
a stick I was whittling on last month in Crawford.
 I sure hope that Agent Branson helps me out.)

(Oh, Jeez, I'm about to shit a brick over here. This Pope
 is so much funnier than the last one. I wonder if
Bush knows that Saint Patrick really drove the
snakes out of Ireland with a pitchfork.

(Mister President, Agent Branson here. Go to Pope
Plan #6. Tell him that your stick was used by Bono
on the Joshua Tree tour and that... can you hear
me, Mister President? Hello? Wiggle your ears if
you can hear me..... Oh, crap, he's gonna wing it.)

"Quite a coincidence, huh, both of us giving each other sticks. This one here is real special, too, see how it's got the ten commandments written on it. John F Kennedy did that when he was on board the PT-109."

(Great Caesar's Ghost , the President really spent a lot of moolah on this gift, and all I gave him was a stick that
I was whittling on last December in Turkey. )


2007, Mark Hoback