"Jack, get us a couple of Heinekens, please."
"Yes sir, Mister President. Here you go."
"Whoa. Bill, you know, that is without a doubt the very best secret service guy I've ever seen in my life."
"You bet he is, George. The man can do anything, and he can do it fast. Go ahead and give him a try."
"Okay, I will. Jack, do you think that I could possibly have some smoked gouda?"
"Yes sir, Mister President. Here you are."
"My goodness. Whoa. He is fast... Well, here we are again, Bill, you and me together again."
"Yeah, here we are again, George. Seems like just about every time I see you, we're in the middle of some disaster or another."
"We're good at it, Mr., uh Bill... It's... It's a calling of sorts. But you can't deny we've had some good times together too."
"You're right, George. Best seats at the Superbowl."
"And that little jaunt to Rome. I mean, it was really sad about that Pope and all, but the rest of the time..."
"And President's Day, whoo whoo! It's nice to know another former President who knows how to party."
"Ain't that the truth, Bill. Look at the slim pickings I had to choose from. Before you, I mean."
"Thank you, George. You're not so bad yourself. You know, in retrospect, I think you're starting to look pretty good..."
"What? That's not supposed to be a put down of my boy, is it?"
"Of course it is, George."
"Hahahaha. Never could measure up to the old man, although he was trying since short britches. I guess I always thought that Jeb would be..."
"Look out behind you, Mister Presidents. Incoming."
"Thanks, Jack. I was worried that this might..."
"Hey fellas! Hey fellas!"
"Yiiii!! It's Jimmy Carter! Run away! Run away!"
"Hey guys. What you all talking about?"
"Important stuff, Jimmy. Right, George? You know that real big storm down south? We're helping to lead a relief effort, and we're..."
"Should you guys be drinking beer right now? It's only two in the afternoon."
"You mind your own affairs, Jimmy Carter. Bill and I have had ourselves a rough trip, and if we want to kick back with a couple of beers, it's none of your damn business, you old stick in the mud. Don't you ever wonder why none of the other presidents want to hang around with you?"
"Sorry, Bill and George, but I..."
"That's Mister Presidents."
"Right, Jimmy. Try and show a little respect for the office."
"Okay, Mister Presidents. I was just thinking that maybe I could give you a little hand with the relief efforts."
"Not a chance, Jimmy. This is a job for the Ex-President's club."
"But I am an ex-president!"
"Well, yes, I believe you were, Jimmy. Before Ford, right? A long, long time ago."
"I was after Ford!"
"Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. Get a hold of yourself. What George is trying to tell you is that you may be an ex-president, but you're not a member of the Ex-President's club. Big difference. So unfortunately, we are going to have to refuse your kind offer."
"Now scoot, Jimmy. President Clinton and I have got important things to talk about."
"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why I can't be a member of the Ex-President's Club."
©2005, Mark Hoback