"From the secret files of George W Bush comes - ahhrooooo - The Creeping Terror."

"Hee hee... You're pretty funny for a president, Mister President."

"I'm not tryin' to be funny, Becky... That's the real creeping terror you're holding right there in your hands, The Iran Dossier. It's so secret that if you were to take a look down at it, I'd have to have you killed."

"You're kidding."

"Yeah, you got me that time. Go ahead and look. I'm gonna start having it leaked this week anyway."

"You mean disseminated."

"Disseminate a little here, disseminate a little there, nice bite sized chunks, so you don't have that bloating sensation. Look at this page here."

"This is a Table of Contents."

"Yeah, but look at the section names: 'Sectarian Maps', 'Explosives Supply Chain', 'Cleansing Plans'... that's pithy. Bam Bam Bam, like an explosion. That's something they teach in business school, effective use of keywords. Like when I say 'butcher knife', what do you think of?"

"O. J.?"

"Exactly. And when I say 'supporting terrorism' what do you think?"


"Well, yeah, see that's what you might think of first, when you don't have all the facts on the table. Before you get educated. But what you need to do is start thinking of Iran first, like when I say 'chainsaw' and you say 'Leatherface'."

"Oh, Lord, Mister President, how can you watch that awful stuff?"

"Who me? I don't know if you knew this about your president, Becky, but I've been a big Leatherface fan since you were probably knee-high to a grasshopper. Rrrrrroommm rrrrroommm, here I come, ahrrrooom. That guy is just like Columbo, he always gets his man. Or lady."

"Well you can have it. That stuff just makes me sick."

"You know what makes me sick?"


"You go girl. Man, you're a quick learner. No wonder I keep you around this place."


2007, Mark Hoback