President Bush and Mister Lama, moments before the meltdown.

Tempers flared today during a White House meeting between the 14th manifestation of Avalokiteshvara, the enlightened Buddha of compassion, and the 2nd manifestation of President Bush, the nescient Nabob of remorselessness. Their talk was initially without incident, as the man Tibetan followers refer to as Yeshe Norbu talked about Chinese repression in the Tibetan Autonomous Region, while the president nodded his head sagely and visually scanned the room in search of Barney.

Noting the president's apparent lack of interest, Yeshe Norbu changed the subject, expressing his dismay at the administration's proclivity for heavy handed tactics. The meeting quickly spiraled out of control.

At one point during their seven minute encounter, Bush threatened to knock the Dalai Lama's "stupid glasses right off your smug little face". His Holiness responded with a karate chop to the President's right knee.

"Ow, ow," yelped the president. "That's my bad knee, you son of a bitch. Now I'm not going to be able to bike for a week".

"You have brought this misfortune upon yourself, George Bush," replied Yeshe Norbu. "You threatened me with physical violence, and I have given you a life lesson".

"Well, I'm gonna give you an ass lesson," said Bush, furiously pressing his special Secret Service button. "I'm gonna have my guys kick you to the curb."

"A futile desire, George Bush. I have willed your little alarm into silence, and shall now calmly take my leave."

"Yeah, well, don't let the door hit you on the... damn. How did he get out of the room so fast?"


2005, Mark Hoback