Happy halibuts bask in the surplus sun

It has taken him four long years, but President Bush finally has his new energy bill. He admits that "This bill is not going to solve our energy challenges overnight," and also agreed that the bill will have no affect on gas prices, or even do much to reduce our dependence of foreign fuel. And yes, as some naysayers would point out, the bill's biggest provision is to give billions of dollars in subsidies to energy companies who are already making record profits under the Bush administration. But one portion of the bill has received praise from all points on the political spectrum - the increase in America's supply of Daylight Savings Time.

Democratic National Party Chairman Howard Dean grinned from behind a pair of Ray-Bans while drinking a Pina Colada, even though it was only eight in the morning. "Okay, okay, even though this administration has been a disaster on every level imaginable, sometimes even a blind dog can dig up a good bone. This is a masterstroke, a royal flush, a golden ticket for all Americans. An extra month of Daylight Savings Time - wahoo! Who wouldn't love that? I think the president's only miscalculation on this issue was not going far enough with it. From now on, I'm going to try to position the Democrats as the party of two extra months of Daylight Savings time."

Presidential spokesman Scott McClellan quickly responded, accusing Dean of speaking recklessly. "The sun is not a renewable energy source, and we must be careful not to squander it needlessly." He added that "two extra months of Daylight Savings Time could result in a crisis where future generations would not have enough daylight to go around."

 

2005, m Hoback