Liberal butcher Ed Fern unsuccessfully attempts to kick Delay's sorry ass.

Refusing to respond to his twenty-third corruption charge since the November elections, unsavory House majority leader Tom Delay castigated the left wing media for 'wasting the American people's time with the truth'.

"You can't handle the truth," he bellowed to the large cheering crowd who had turned out to see him and other entertainers celebrities people at a 'Christ Values Coalition' rally in Houston. As Delay began to squat down in a visual demonstration of what secularists would like to do to the constitution, a liberal disguised as a regular working class Joe rushed onto the stage and attempted to kick the Senator's ass.

"Protect your buttocks! Protect your buttocks!," shouted the horrified onlookers, giving him enough time to avoid the lawless foot hurtling towards his derriere. The assailant, identified as liberal meat-cutter Ed 'Happy' Fern from El Paso, was quickly dragged off by large Polynesians, but not before being bitch-slapped by the senator, and told, "Christ might turn the other cheek, but not Tom Delay."