Before taking off to Camp David for the long holiday weekend, President Bush turned on the approach to the steps of Air Force 1 to briefly address reporters. He noted with disgust that the brand new foreign minister of the brand new Iraqi government had just met with the Iranian foreign minister, and among other things, had voiced Iraq's support for the Iranian nuclear program.

"These past few months have seen a real miracle in the Middle East," the President said, his lips moving slowly without coordination. "In the face of tremendous danger, the Iraqi people went by the millions to vote in free elections,  a chance at real democracy firmly within their grasp. And then, well, they farted around for what seemed to me to be an inordinately long time, but finally they got it together, and now they have successfully put together a true democracy in the heart of Muslim world."

"So what is the first thing they do, aside from declaring the vulture as the national bird? They come right out and say that it's okay if Ahmadinejad continues with his plan to develop weapons of mass destruction. Now ain't that a kick in the pants? They dissed me."

"I've got a few choice words for the liberated people of Iraq... Why don't you guys just go ahead and enjoy your freedom, you friggin ingrates. Go on... Why don't you just go do that? Cause you all earned it, all by your mighty selves. I bet you all had decided, just before our troops got there, 'hey, why don't we depose Saddam and start us a democracy'. I'll bet that's just the way it went down. Y'all don't have the least little bit of gratitude for all I've done for you, do you? I spent my legacy on you camel jockeys. You owe me."


2006, M Hoback