Who, me?

Kevin Ellison, the freshman congressman who garnered national attention by swearing the oath of office on a Koran, received a reprimand today for keeping a hotplate in his office on which he allegedly cooked falafel, stinking up the entire corridor.

Expressing embarrassment, Ellison claimed to have had no idea that the odor would bother anyone. "If anything, I expected the falafel to tantalize any by-passers, and perchance to temp them in for a bite and a cup of coffee. It's kind of hard out here for a new congressman to meet people."

Ellison thinks the complaint my have been lodged by Koran-hater Virgil Goode, who has stated that Ellison represents the forward tip of a mighty wave of Muslims crashing on the shores of Congress. A more likely candidate, however, might be Congressman Tom Tancredo, who Ellison had ratted out the previous day for smoking a cigar in his office. "If so, I am truly sorry," said Ellison. "I don't suppose that's a very good way for me to make new friends."

"I ain't the snitch, or rather, the snitch is not me," said  Tancredo, who just happened to be standing in the hallway at the time of the visit by the Capitol police. "I just thought, you know, that somebody had farted and I wanted to see what was going on."