With his career in gear, and his reputation in rehabilitation, former House majority Tom 'Exterminator' Delay took a break from his busy schedule of cracking walnuts to speak to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review about how House Speaker Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Reid are "emboldening the terrorists", adding that Reid's comments that the US has lost the war in Iraq "are getting very, very close to treason." He did not mention his own 1999 remarks that Clinton had lost the war in Kosovo, but hey, it's only fair that we hold the bug killer to a lower standard.

Delay also trumpeted his resurgent influence within the conservative moment, citing the announcement by ABC that Rosie O'Donnell will be leaving The Vies after her current contract expires.

"I called for this on my blog," said a proud Delay, "I said that if the left took Imus, we would take Rosie. And by god, we did it! It was on my blog! I got over two hundred hits on that piece!"

Delay than returned to his favorite topic, Tom Delay, the man, the legend, the victim who was set up and taken down.

"It's not good enough to defeat somebody politically or vilify him publicly," Delay said, through tears of righteous indignation. "They've got to carpet-bomb you and drive you out of office, disgraced, bankrupt, your family busted up, headed to jail."

Don't worry, Tom, it's hard to keep a good man down.

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"I can see it's coming on now Clancy. Yeah you're a cop and you've got to DO SOMETHING. No that gun won't do you a bit of good. Better put it away. You don't believe in that gun anymore Clancy. You don't believe in that badge neither nor the work you're doing. What kept you doing it Clancy? It was the feeling you were on set knowing you had a part in the film and the film covered you just like the white stuff covers a junkie he don't mind shaving and dressing. And you didn't mind doing these things so long as the film covered you why you were on the cops. Well the film isn't there any more Clancy the spring is gone from your sap strength sags from your good right arm cold and wooden your fingers... Time to turn in your cop suit to the little Jew who will check it off in his books."

                                       - William Burroughs, Exterminator

 

2007, Mark Hoback