President Rails Against Activist Supreme
Stamping his feet and gesticulating wildly, President Bush today angrily railed against the activist judges on the Supreme Court who ruled that Bush did not have the authority to order military war crimes trials for Guantanamo Bay detainees. The court held that the trials were illegal under both the US law and the Geneva conventions.
"Geneva? Who is this Geneva, and what do I care about her conventions" sputtered the red-faced chief executive. "This is the United States of America. These judges need to remember that their role is interpreting the law, not creating it. That's the president's job. If you doubt that for a second, just take a look at the First Addendum. Course, you can't."
The First Addendum, sometime referred to as the Jefferson Codex, is a part of the Constitution that is so secret that even the President and Attorney General are not allowed to see it except in times of 'a humdinger of a war'. It's contents are not known to the general public, but it has been claimed by previous presidents to grant wide ranging powers to the Chief Executive.
Lawyers for the administration say they intend to argue that since members of the Supreme Court have never seen the Jefferson Codex, they have no jurisdiction to rule on it. "We could show it to them, I suppose," said Attorney General Gonzales, "but then we'd have to kill them."