As Iraq Death Toll Hits 2500, Senate Focuses on New Outrage

Today, while the House was voting on a resolution that will declare that Bush is doing a heck of a job in Iraq, the Senate hastily voted 93 to 6 against even thinking about withdrawing US forces by the end of the year, and launched into an even more urgent debate about bringing an end to the rampant wave of flag burning that is sweeping the country.

By an 11-7 vote, the Senate Judiciary Committee advanced a measure to create a constitutional amendment to protect all of our endangered flags, even though Senator Joe Biden brought up the very frightening prospect that such a law would allow for the prosecution of a woman wearing "a very skimpy bathing suit" decorated with the stars and stripes. After taking a five minute head scratching break, the Senate resumed debate.

An outraged Senator John Cornyn sought to stoke up emotion by showing up with a bag of Americoals, 'the number one briquette for all your flag burning needs'. He is seeking an amendment to the bill which would also outlaw all 'flag burning paraphernalia'. When Senator Kent Conrad commented that it would be 'impractical to ban fire', a ruckus broke out on the Senate floor, with Cornyn hurling briquettes at Conrad, one of which hit Senator Diane Feinstein, leaving a black mark across the front of her blouse.


2006, Mark Hoback