"And welcome back now to FOX and Friends. I'm E.D. Hill, and you've been watching FOX News coverage of the major new policy speech by President Bush on the administration's Iraq strategy. Joining me and my colleague Steve Doocy at this moment is Fox News Analyst Oliver North. Tell me, what was your analyst of the president's speech?"
"You mean my analysis, E.D.?"
"Yes I do, Ollie. There were a lot of new details, weren't there?"
"Indeed there were, E.D."
"You know, that must be discouraging to everyone who says that this administration doesn't have a plan."
"Well, there are a lot of liberals out there who would like to see the president fail, no matter what the cost to the country. And this president does have a plan, and he articulated it very clearly this morning. He basically came out and said that we're going to stay the course in Iraq until we win."
"I believe his exact words were that our forces were going to settle for 'nothing less than complete victory'. Right, Steve"
"That's right, E.D. Colonel North, did you know that Ms. Hill's name is actually the letter E and the letter D?"
"You mean your real name is Ed, Ed?"
"No, Ollie, E dot D dot, and it's pronounced just like Edie. Tell me, were you surprised that the president rejected the use of timetables to determine the duration of the conflict?"
"No I wasn't, Ed. The president believes, and justifiably so, that timetables are an artificial restraint. And we'll be ready when we're ready, and as a matter of fact, we're readier every day."
"Let me jump in for a moment, Colonel North. There was a moment when the president, as he was referring to the Iraqi security forces, he said 'they're doing a darn good job'. I guess that kind of reminded me of his 'heck of a job, Brownie' remark a couple of months ago. Is the president in danger of being seen as someone who is just too darn nice to people, you know, someone who grades artificially high?"
"No, I don't think so Steve. If you'll note, he said that they were doing a better job every day, every week, every month, thus implying that there is still plenty of room for improvement. And I believe he would be the first to point out that this is not improvement that can be measured on a timetable."
"I just want to point out that my name is not Ed, it's E.D., just like E.T., but with a D instead of a T."
"E.T. call home."
"Ha ha ha ha."
"Ha ha ha ha. Anything else that caught your attention, Ollie?"
"Well, there was that one moment when the president swallowed a fly..."
"Let's put that up on the screen."
"Look at that. Remarkable composure, isn't it?"
"Remarkable composure indeed, Ed. That's the face of a man who is not, in his own words, going 'to cut and run'."
"Speaking of which, we've got to cut and run to a commercial. When we come back, Dennis Hastert will be joining us to talk about the ongoing 'holiday tree' controversy, only here, on FOX."
©2005, Mark Hoback