Hunter Labels Gitmo Meal Report 'Laughable'

House Armed Services Committee Chairman Duncan Hunter today scoffed at reports of prisoner abuse at Guantanamo Bay, going so far as to angrily brandish a menu at Fox News cameras. "Do you consider having to eat chicken three times a week a form of torture?," he shouted at Alan Colmes during an interview for the highly rated Hannity and Colmes show. Colmes admitted that he did not think that too much chicken could be classified as torture, and asked if he could see the menu. After threatening to shove it up Colmes ass, Hunter showed the menu to Sean Hannity, who giggled like a little girl.

"For Sunday," said Duncan, "they're going to be having — let me see — orange glazed chicken, fresh fruit grupe, steamed peas and mushrooms, rice pilaf — another form of torture for the hijackers." Hannity responded with a gale of laughter.

"If you go back to Sunday," he continued, "it looks like it's honey-baked — or lemon-baked fish as an entree." Colmes rudely interrupted at this point, saying that Sunday had already been covered, and sarcastically inquiring about Saturday's meal. After slapping his glasses off, Duncan politely informed Colmes that every idiot and his mama knows that Saturday is the Islamic day of fasting.

"That's the way it is with these liberal," explained Hannity, his face turning the nicest shade of scarlet. "Next thing you know, he'll be asking what they ate on Friday."