God broke a long period of silence today, when he appeared on Capitol Hill and urged lame duck Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist to not run for president in 2008.

"To everything, there is a season," said the Lord, "and a time for every purpose under Heaven. That being the case, this does not appear to be the season for Mister Frist. While I commend him for his twelve years of loyal service to the American people, I sincerely believe that the next few years will be a time of war, a time of peace, a time of love, a time of hate, a time you may embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing. And I just don't think Bill is up to it. Particularly the embracing part."

Frist at first refused to comment on the deity's statement, but later stated "Okay, okay, I guess I'll go ahead and do God's bidding. I just wish I understood the logic behind His request."



2006, Mark Hoback