Hey, Gore, pick up the phone. Pick up the phone. Pick up the goddamn phone. Oh, uh, whoops... no wonder... you there, Gore? You.....Well howdy your own self. Let's skip the formalities... Listen, you know why I'm calling? ...Not funny, wise guy, and I don't care what your president did on the phone... Oh yeah, well I'm your president now... What? Shut your filthy Al Gore mouth... Yeah? You and what army? ...Hey buddy boy, I don't think you know how thin the line is between my fist and your nose... Hello? Hello? Damn.

Hey, Gore, pick up the phone. Pick up the... Howdy your self. Listen, you got some kind of nerve coming out and saying that I broke the law and need to be probed. I'll come over and probe you........ Huh? What do you mean I'd probably enjoy that? ...what? Why, you dirty dirty Al Gore, you. You talk that way in front of Tipper? ...what? Oh you are a vile little man, Al Gore. I ought to... Hello? Hello? Ah... There ought to be a law against hanging up on the president during war time.

Hey, Gore, pick up... What? Mario's Pizza? No... no, I don't have a coupon... No... Sorry... Wrong number...

Come on, Gore, pick up the dang phone. Will you... It's you. I figured out your little joke... Sayin you were a pizza place... Yes you did... Because I didn't dial it, I just hit redial... Well, don't believe me, then...

Look, we're firing up the press. We're putting out the word that you're a big hypocrite.... You bet we are...  I'm rubber and you're glue. Everything that we do, that other president did first.... Did too... Tony G told me all about it. Spy and lie, spy and lie... So don't go pointing your finger at me, Mister Beardface, I'll... What? You shaved it off? What? A year ago? But my intelligence guys... they uh... well, your picture still has a beard on it... Yeah. I'm looking at it now.... Yeah, I guess they're not real good at their work... Yours weren't either? So it's not just me... Boy, that's a relief, kind of. I mean, I don't like the fact that our intelligence is hurting big time, but I do feel a lot better about myself.... Yep. Yep. Thanks, and forget about that media blitz. We'll save that for another day.

 

2006, Mark Hoback