President Bush accidentally hammers top aid Karl Rove

In what turned out to be an altogether unpleasant day, President Bush temporarily lost not only the services of top aid Karl Rove (helmet pictured above, bottom right), but also the use of his best left thumb.

The unfortunate bludgeoning of Rove occurred just moments before Bush was scheduled to be interviewed by Matt Lauer of NBC's Today Show.

"Karl was just showing the president the basics of hammering," said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. "Being a fast learner, Bush almost 'had it nailed' when the first lady shouted out that the 'Today Show' van was pulling up, causing him to lose his concentration. Luckily, the president did miss Rove's head, but the sudden impact to Rove's shoulder caused him to fall off his ladder and roll down the hill into an embankment, which, I'm pleased to report, held steady."

"Way to go, bruiser," shouted Jimmy Carter, who was rebuilding a house just a few yards away. Due to the approach of Lauer and his camera crew, Bush chose not to immediately respond to Carter's rude comment .

Bush, who had been expecting to be interviewed by cute little Katie Couric, was clearly displeased when the interview veered off into nonsensical talk of photo-ops, a topic he quickly dismissed. Lauer, however, was completely undeterred, and used his unfettered access to batter the president with questions about the competency of Supreme Court nominee Harriett Miers, as well as the shenanigans of the recently wounded Karl Rove. Bush looked around furiously for his aides, but Rove was still unconscious, and McClellan was busy talking to Jimmy Carter about drill bits.

The president was still seething by the end of the interview, and when he was almost immediately confronted by former President Busybody, the seeds of disaster misfortune thumb-hurting were sown.

"Say, boy, you don't even look like you know how to hold a hammer," chuckled Carter, shaking the leg of the ladder that Bush was posed perched upon. "That's not a turkey leg you've got there. You're grabbing that thing by the head. Hey, look at this kids, we've got us a professional here now."

"I do too know how to hammer, you old coot. This is the way we do things when we want to get things done," Bush responded.

The first lady quickly interceded "You get on out of here, Jimmy Carter, and leave my husband alone. You show them, honey. You show them how to hammer."

"Ouch," said Bush moments later, as he chased the former chief executive down the debris littered streets of Covington, Louisiana.

 

2005, Mark Hoback