Political analyst Dr. Jack Wheeler has published the real truth behind the charges against Tom Delay, and it's not what you think. Okay, I suppose I tipped my hand a little by putting this picture of Hillary up front, didn't I? But if this had been a picture of Katie Couric or a puppy, then you'd really be surprised by what Wheeler has to say. This is Hillary's handiwork.

"Hillary's fingerprints are all over it. She has no intention of having to deal with an opposition party controlling the House as her husband did for six years and Ronald Reagan did for eight. She has a very clear plan for seizing control of the entire United States government, which includes orchestrating Democrat control of the House in 2006 so it is firmly in place when she is elected president in 2008."

We would love to give you a link right to this story, but, well, it's like this - Dr. Jack wants me to give him $8.99 in order to read it. He does point out that this is only 29 cents a day, which I would gladly pay as the cost of research, but I don't see any one day membership options, so I am forced to use the WordNetDaily summary instead.

Being easily distracted, this is somewhat of a problem, since I find it hard to ignore links to other stories, like the one about the unborn baby threatening his mother in a hamburger ad ("Fast-food chain has tough-talking fetus suggesting he'll rip out mother's uterus"). But back to Wheeler, who believes that it is "at Hillary's direction that the Washington Post, the New York Times, and the entire Liberal Media apparatus are waging a relentless war" on Delay.

"...the substance doesn't matter all that matters is the attacks themselves, that they be kept up until more and more spineless pencil-necks like Connecticut Republicans Chris Shays and Rob Simmons break and crack under pressure. Hillary knows exactly what she is doing. Target the strongest force the GOP has in Congress DeLay keep targeting until Republicans surrender and retreat in disarray, then pick up the easy pieces in 2006."

And why should you believe Jack Wheeler? Well, let's take a look at his bio, which his pay site, 'To The Point', lets you read for free. "At 12, he became the Youngest Eagle Scout in Boy Scout history," an achievement which brought him recognition from President Eisenhower. Then, at 14, he climbed the Matterhorn, and at 16, he swam the Hellespont, "recreating the legend of Leander in Greek mythology." I was a little sketchy on the Leander story, so I looked it up and found that Leander used to swim the Hellespont every day to see his girlfriend, until one day he accidentally drowned. His girl found the body and committed suicide.

Not much of a myth, that one. Not like Wheeler, who at the tender age of 17 "hunted and killed a man-eating tiger responsible for the deaths of over 20 Montagnard tribespeople in the highlands of South Viet Nam." I won't even get into his adult life, where among other accomplishments he was the first person to sky dive over the North Pole, and the creator of the 'Regan Doctrine'.

These are only few of the reasons that Wheeler's theory on Hillary is to be taken seriously. Plus the fact that those quotes were given to him by a 'member of the House leadership'. Could it have been Delay himself? Nah. Now I'm just being paranoid.


2005, Mark Hoback