"I talked to Condi, and there is not as I understand it, the way the constitution is written is that women have got rights, inherent rights recognized in the constitution, and that the constitution talks about not the religion, but a religion. Twenty-five percent of the assembly is going to be women, which is a -- is embedded in the constitution."
                - Bush comments on the Iraq constitution  8/23/05

"I'm sorry, Mister President. Would you mind repeating that?"

"What's the matter, Stretch? Having trouble with your recording machine? Maybe you oughta learn shorthand."

"No sir... It's just that, well... I'm not sure exactly what you were trying to say."

"I'm talking about the Iraq constitution is what I'm saying. It's just great that Condi guarantees every body make women in the restitution, I mean the governing body can not afford to pull out if you're going to have religion."

"What?"

"Listen here Stretch, we're staying the course whether that Sheehan woman, or the men and women who make up the press pool, weaken the country or not. I think the Iraqi women are guaranteed, as I understand it, and I do understand it."

"Mister President, maybe we could break this down into little chunks of information... What if we just ask you some yes or no questions?"

"Good try, but the answer is no."

"Uh..."

"No more questions, then? I've got brush to clear."

"Yes. Mister President! Mister President, when you say that the constitution talks about not the religion, but a religion, what exactly do you mean by that?"

"Got to explain everything to you, huh Slim? I mean that the constitution has religion. Got it?"

"No..."

"I used to think the Times-Journal was a pretty decent paper, but you're just about as dumb as a piece of wood. Just write it down and give it to your editor. Maybe he'll explain it to you."

"Mister President, does the constitution have protection for women in it?"

"Did you hear what Condi said? She's a woman."

"Yes sir. Have you, by any chance, read the constitution?"

"That's downright insulting, Lumpy, and I don't think your boss is gonna be too happy when he hears about you speaking disrespectfully to the Commander in Chief. Of course I haven't personally read it. What, you think the president of the United States doesn't have anything else to do but sit around reading constitutions all day? I think that's just about enough jaw-boning. You fellows head back off to your trailer."

 

2005, Mark Hoback