President Bush Blasts Kanye West

Stating that he "didn't give up two days of valuable vacation time to listen to this sort of crap," President Bush used his weekly Saturday radio address to fire back at rapper Kanye West for remarks he made during a broadcast fundraiser for victims of Katrina in New Orleans.

"Kanye West is nothing but a loudmouth," fumed Bush, "and it's pretty darn obvious that he's a big sissy as well. Take a look at those silly-ass wings of his. 'La la la, I'm an angel, la la la'.  Oh man. I don't want to denigrate America's gay community; as far as I'm concerned this country produces some of the finest homosexuals in the world, and I'm pretty sure most of them wouldn't prance around looking like that. It's ludicrous."

"Let me back off of my last remark. Ludicrous is a decent enough rapper. Not one of my favorites, but he can rap the pants off of this angel guy. I bet old Kanye would like that, what you think? Hey, my man half-a-buck eats rappers like Kanye for breakfast... I bet he'd like that too."

"And as far as his remarks about me being slow in reacting just because I don't like black people, that's absurd. I love black people, except for a certain somebody I could mention that likes to dress up like an angel. In the weeks ahead, many of you will probably be tempted to buy Kanye's new CD, 'Late Registration', the one with the cute widdle teddy bear on the cover. Don't bother. We've posted the whole damn thing on the White House website, and we're gonna let you download it for free."


2005, Mark Hoback