A solemn mood has settled over Washington this morning as rumors have been confirmed that first lady Laura Bush succumbed to death from boredom late last night on her ranch in Crawford, Texas. Ms. Bush, who had already suffered through 319 days of 'vacation' in the small backwater town, had reportedly been depressed by the thought of spending yet another thirty-five days in the sweltering hellhole. She was found in front of the family television, where the cable box had reportedly burned out.

"Man, am I bummed," said the president, speaking from a small clearing in the cedar brush. "I guess it wouldn't have killed me - oops, bad choice of words... I guess it wouldn't have hurt me to go to the beach or something for a change. Laura wanted to go to Paris, but that's all full of Frenchies, or even New York, which is all full of you know what. Why would you want to go there, I'd ask her. There's nothing to do. Well, I guess now I'll never know."


2005, M Hoback