So long Scott



Scott McClellan: ...and even though it may sound like there is a certain amount of dissent, it's important to keep in mind that there are over six thousand retired generals living in this country, so a few renegades are just meaningless in the total picture. Jack?

Reporter: Staff shakeup, Scott. We want more. The president announced this morning that Karl Rove will be moving from his undefined role as the president's chief policy advisor to a new undefined role as the '06 election fixer. Is there anything really happening here?

SM: You mean, are any offices being swapped out? I can categorically say that all office changes are handled by the Secretary of Interior.

R: At the pleasure of the president?

SM: It's all about the pleasure of the president. Helen?

R: What about you, Scott? There's talk that you may soon be leaving the administration.

SM: And miss your sneering face, Helen? I could never do that. I will outlive you, that's pretty obvious, but I want to outlast you too. I long for the day when I can stand up here and point to your empty seat. Stretch?

R: I'm wondering if you would care to comment on the piece in this morning's Washington Post which hints that your departure as press secretary is pretty much of a done deal.

SM: Pretty lame question, Stretch. If you check the record I think you'll find that I've already answered this question or similar questions about a half a million times.

R: Then your answer is yes?

SM: Goddamit man. I told you to do your research. Jay?

R: Is that a maybe?

SM: I can categorically say that that was not a maybe. Paula?

R: Yes, Scott. Unlike Stretch, I have been very diligent in doing my research, and I've found that on a number of occasions you have said that you serve at the pleasure of the president. Would you describe President Bush at this time as being full of pleasure or only mildly satisfied?

SM: I'm sorry, Paula... could you clarify?

R: You know, a warm feeling around the crotch.

SM: I'm sure you would like to know that, but so would thousands of terrorists who wish to do our country harm. Ben?

R: Scott, I just got a text message from my boss which said that CNN is reporting that you handed in your resignation an hour and a half ago. Any comments?

SM: As you know, we have something in this country called the First Amendment, which allows the press to speculate in the name of entertainment and label their output as truth. The president recognizes the importance of this freedom even though it does not always serve the nation's interest, particularly during a time of war. Nevertheless, no comment. Jill?

R: Will there be a party?

SM: I think we've wandered back into the realm of speculation again, Jill. The president has parties at the pleasure of the president, and does not party by poll. Now if you'll take a look at...

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2006, Mark Hoback