<intercom> Mister President, Ms Hughes is here to see you.

George Bush: Send her on in...

Karen Hughes: Hi, George. What are you doing sitting in this dark room all by yourself?

GB: Just watching some videos, Karen. I've been feeling a little down lately.

KH: I know. That's why I'm here... Michael Jackson? That's uh... that's 'Smooth Operator', isn't it?

GB: Smooth Criminal. Great video, very underrated. Look at the way he handles his hat... Wish I could handle a hat like that.

KH: Well, you're more of a cowboy hat kind of guy. It's a lot harder to dance with a big ten-gallon.

GB: Don't patronize me, Karen. It's not like I've never seen Garth Brooks in action. Remember when he gave that command performance around the campfire down in Crawford?

KH: No.

GB <sighs>: It doesn't matter...

KH: What's the matter, George? You know you can tell Kiki.

GB: Its just that... you know, there is so much meanness in the world. So many people just seem to want to find Michael guilty. Rove sent a note over saying I should give him a presidential condemnation. I don't even know what that is. I got a call from Dr. Dobson, he's on my back again...

Why was Michael Jackson shopping at K-Mart? I got that question in a letter today.

KH: Because he heard they had boys pants half off.

GB: Whuh? Try to stay on topic, Karen. This is a man who has given the world so much pleasure...

KH: Look at that! He's smashing someone's windshield.

GB: Oh, yeah. That's the 'Black or White' video. See, someone wrote racist graffiti on the window, so what choice does he have other than to clean it off? He's fighting for freedom and equality.

KH: And the children.

GB: And the children... Well, I just hope he can pull his life back together and get back out there and make some more great music... Maybe we could give him some sort of grant.

KH: Maybe we could make him a goodwill ambassador.

GB: Maybe we could make him a real ambassador. Some place where he could make a real difference, like Togo.

KH: I'm sure Togo would be delighted.

GB: Or UN ambassador! That is, uh, if Bolton doesn't get confirmed. That guy scares me.

KH: He scares all of us. But remember what Cheney said.

GB: Right, right. Well, Togo it is, then. Now hush up. 'Bad' just started - the long version.



2005, Mark Hoback