"Aagjeta filins a bruken mahejesticash, fronken Bush."

"Heh................ I'm tripping out."

"He says welcome to the glorious wonderland that is Mongolia, Mister Bush."

"Heh............... Thanks........... Uh, take me to your leader."

"He is our leader, Mister Bush. Allow me to introduce you to President Nambariin Enkhbayar, the leader of the People’s Revolutionary Party."

"Heh... Tell him I said 'Hello from the people of America."

"Howdae zum vifiippoef ga Amerikakompf."

"Bigff ud veldn?"

"He asks 'North or South'."

"North. The United States of America. What the heck sort of question is that?"

"I would prefer to not translate the last portion of your remarks, Mister Bush."

"No, you're not supposed to... Just tell him 'north'."

"Bigff Amerikakompf."

"Ahhh... Cowboys, bang bang."


"Vikk blosguuh vleed smuwhequnftil munchies?"

"President Enkhbayar asks if you would care for a snack."

"Oh sure, bring on the chow. Maybe I could get some of that Mongolian barbeque."

"President Enkhbayar has taken the liberty of preparing the national snack in your honor."

"Okay, then. What is it?"

"Fermented mare’s milk and cheese curd."

"Tell President En... Enka... tell the president that I'm not much of a drinker... I'll take some of those cheese curls, though."

"Flahg eh Bush vlee kahabhakappa booze nagga."


"The president insists."

"Well, mmm, okay then, but just a little. That's enough. Hey, that's enough. Hey. O Lord, am I ever ready to get back home. Don't translate that."

"Vlee zbissl gu vorkkle pussy."

"Spluffp? Ha ha ha ha."

"I asked you not to translate that."

"No, no, fear not. I just noted to President Enkhbayar that you would be certain to appreciate a demonstration of our fabled Mongolian throat singing. Hit it, girls."


"Whoa, this has got to take some real getting used to."


"Vonke pu smibakken!"

"President Enkhbayar insists that you drink your milk."


"I just need to..."

"Zorguh! Zorguh! Zorguh!"

"President Enkhbayar says 'Chug! Chug! Chug!'."


"Laura! Make a break for the plane, honey..."


"Mister Bush, wait! You haven't even ridden on the royal yak yet."


©2005, Mark Hoback