"ummuggamoneymoatteesometroopsohkabyouu."

"I'm sorry, Mister President, I didn't quite catch that."

"wannalittleyouknowwannalittlebitofcashmoneyknowhatimean."

"It's me, really it is, I'm getting a little hard of hearing... If you wouldn't mind repeating yourself just one more time."

"Goddamit, you're trying to make me beg now, and that's something I can't and won't abide by."

"No, really sir, nothing of the sort, I honestly couldn't make out what you were trying to say. Make you beg? Nothing could be further from the truth."

"That's one heck of an attitude you got. I wonder what the American people would think of that mouth on you. They don't particularly care to see their chief executive treated with that sort of lack of respect."

"Oh goodness, you won't tell them will you? I am so sorry if I gave you the impression of disrespect. Anything you want, just ask and it's yours."

"I was just asking for an extra eighty billion, for the troops. You do support the troops, doncha?"

"Well, of course I do, sir. It's just that I'm not sure that I've got eighty billion on me."

"Oh, sure, sure, I see where this is going. You sure don't seem to have any problems coming up with a few bucks if it's for something you enjoy, like the environment."

"Come on, that's not fair. That only cost seven or eight billion. Besides, I just gave you an extra twenty-five billion a few weeks ago. What happened to that?"

"Done spent it."

"You done spent it?"

"War ain't cheap. And nothing good comes easy. You be happier if Saddam still had his rape camps?"

"Oh, okay, eighty billion more, we'll scratch it up from somewhere. Are you sure that will be it for the year?"

"Absolutely. You've got my word."

 

 

2005, Mark Hoback