Schwarzenegger: Defeat Was 'Teeny Weenie'

"This diamond could balance the entire budget!"

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger pooh-poohed the defeat of his four budget propositions in what amounted to the most expensive special election in California history. "Ah, it is not such a big defeat in the overall scheme of things," said Schwarzenegger, who spent seven million of his own cash promoting the initiatives. "And it is not as though it were a referendum on me, Arnold. I tell you, the citizens of California look at the insane expenditures of the federal government and ask themselves, why can't we spend like crazy monkeys too?"

"It was a good proposition, though, that proposition 76. I went through seventy-five other propositions before I came up with that one. Ah, well, no use crying over spilt milk. It was just a teeny weenie defeat."

"My defeat at the hands of Bruce Wayne, now that was a real defeat," said Schwarzenegger, referring to his role as Dr. Victor Fries in the odious 'Batman and Robin'. "Certainly it can be argued that Mr. Freeze had his fate sealed by the caped crusader, but I tell you this, he really died by the hand of that accursed director Joel Schumacher. Bah! He should never be let near a studio again. George Clooney running around in that ludicrous nipple suit with his homosexual sidekick, and my noble character reduced to uttering lines like 'You're not sending me to the cooler!' That, my friend, is utter defeat."



2005, Mark Hoback