A terrified Laura Bush flees from Ragu the Inquisitor

Following up on her husband's promise to bring unity to the Middle East, Laura Bush brought Jews and Muslims together today as they jointly  heckled her while she toured religious sites in the ancient city of Jerusalem.

Things did not go well for Ms. Bush, as she was met by angry protesters at every stop along the way. Jews shouted at her, and waved signs demanding the release of Israeli spy Jonathon Pollard. Muslims shouted 'Koran, Koran', and asked how dare she enter their temple. Secret service had to form a tight ring around her to protect her from the crowd.

And then the unthinkable happened. While entering the market square during a stop at the West Bank town of Jericho, Mrs. Bush was suddenly confronted by Ragu the Inquisitor, a local Jewish monster.

"Where did you get those shoes," he bellowed, waving a mighty green fist in her direction and plunging into the crowd. "Those are the sacred shoes of Nezran," he cried, drawing ever closer as the first lady attempted to claw her way into the car. Reports say that Secret Service agents fired numerous shots into Ragu, but the horrible creature laughed and continued his advance. The Bush limo managed to drive off just in the nick of time, but in a macabre postscript, after reaching safety, a size 12 yarmulke was found lodged into the passenger door.


2005, Mark Hoback