"Woo woo woo woo... What is it boss? I heard you holler."

"What is this, Karl, what the hell is this? Look at these papers. You think you can tell me what the hell this is, Pink Boy? What is it, Karl? Give me the dirty lowdown. I want to know just what the hell this is and I want to know it now."

"Oh, that? Don't worry, boss, I'm mopping it up. That's nothing to get concerned about, boss, just that Katrina nonsense. You remember, Katrina the Storm last summer, the one that gave you all the grief."

"Of course I remember Katrina the Storm. That's why I'm waving the damn newspaper in your face. I've put it behind me, so tell me why oh why can't everybody else?"

"Ah, no biggie, boss. It's mainly the liberals rabble rousers. They've been coming around and asking their impertinent questions again, trying to play the gotcha game. They're having themselves a big investigation. Whoop-de-doo. I thumb my nose at them. Even that Joe Lieberman crumb bum, that's a real fair- weather friend for you. I told you to keep an eye on him, boss, I told you to keep an eye on him."

"NSA is taking care of that, Turd Blossom. I just thought this whole thing had played itself out when Brownie left the plantation."

"Agitators, boss, liberal agitators, trying to get people all riled up so they can make a power grab..."

"Can't have it..."

"...so they can push their secularist agenda down the throats of the American people. Well, we won't swallow. Now they're whining about you being briefed two days before the storm hit."

"I was not briefed. Maybe my email got briefed or maybe my fax got briefed, you'll have to check with the girls in the office. But I didn't get briefed. And you know what, Karl, I think most Americans understand that vacation time is sacred time, and sacred time should not be befouled by briefings. I sincerely believe that."

"As do we all, boss, as do we all. But those blame-namers aren't going to get anywhere anyway. We're invoking President-Staff privilege."

"I didn't know there was such a thing."

"During time of war, there is. And what is this investigation other than an attempt to change the topic away from the War on Terror? I'll deter their probe, all right. The blamers would rather point fingers than to keep this country safe. It's time to say que sara sara and get on with..."

"Don't speak French to me, Rovester."

"It's time to say wipe that look off your face, buddy, and don't stand in the way of freedom. You said it best yourself, boss, just a couple of minutes ago."

"Of course I did. Wha'd I say?"

"You said 'I put it behind me, why can't everybody else?'"

"Put what behind me?"

"Put the, uh... oh, nothing, I was just thinking out loud. Say, boss, I was wondering what you thought about the merger between UPN and The WB?"

"I think it's great, Karl. Now I'll be able to get 'WWE Smackdown' and 'Smallville' on the same channel. Speaking of which, do you remember those little crackers called 'Bacon Thins'? They were real skinny and oval shaped and they tasted just like bacon. Do they still make those? If so I'd really like to get me a box."

"I'll have someone research that for you, sir."

"Do that, would you? And make it timely. I'd like a box on my desk by the time I get back from the gym."


2006, Mark Hoback