Former Wisconsin governor Tommy Thompson today announced his candidacy for the Republican presidential nominee, joining a political herd that some experts say is already packed to the bursting point with quality.

Although Thompson does not have the name recognition of a John McCain, or even that of his brother Fred Thompson, he feels certain that he will be able to easily distinguish himself from the rest of the candidates.

"I'm not like those other clowns," says Thompson, who for the announcement abandoned the traditional candidates garb in favor of a windbreaker. "Do you see a big red nose on my face? No, you do not. Do you see a big head full of funny colored hair? No, you do not. I'm an individualist who doesn't trod the same well worn path in the same well worn pair of floppy shoes, and that's what sets me apart."

The differences are more than skip deep, as exemplified by Thompson's "completely different Iraq strategy". He would "demand" that Iraq vote on whether or not they wanted the US military to stay, and if the answer was no, "We would get out, absolutely. It's a duly elected government."

And if the answer was yes?

"What's that sound? Arooga, arooga, uh oh, that's my ride, arooga, arooga, funny car a-coming, gotta beat feet."



2007, Mark Hoback