Incoming White House Press Secretary Tony Snow has vowed to create a new atmosphere in White House public relations with the media, one characterized by "congeniality, trust, and yes, even joy".

A tall order? For many men, perhaps, but one that doesn't seem too daunting to Snow, who once dove into the freezing waters of Lake Michigan to save a drowning puppy. "What else could I do?" asked Snow, who some Washington insiders describe as 'a very handsome man'.

"That poor dog was a bichon frise. It  was cute as a button, and belonged to a little girl who just loved him. You can't think of your own safety at a time like that."

Asked whether he worried about skepticism arising from his stint as a talking head for FOX News, Snow brushed the question aside like so much dandruff.

"FOX is the number one cable source for television news, so the idea that I am anything other than fair and balanced is simply not reality-based. Sure, I'll be touting the White House line, but I'll be doing it with style and humor, just the way you like it. I also plan on slipping a number of interesting anecdotes and random observations into my conversations, so I think you'll find my briefings are much more entertaining than what you've been used to. Much warmer, if you will. And if I happen to be spouting out truly unbelievable nonsense, I'm not above giving a wink or a nod."

"It's going to be great. Reporters will take a look at me, and they'll find a commonality. They'll think, 'Hey, it's Tony Snow, straight shooter, now we're talking the real deal. The man has a bulletproof smile, and if we can't trust a television journalistic icon like Tony, then who can we trust?' Like I say, it's going to be great."


2006, Mark Hoback