What gives this story it's rich buttery goodness is the fact that there isn't a politician in the entire batch - left, right or lunar - who wouldn't look you straight in the eye and say no way, boss, I don't use no playbook, that would be cynical, doncha know, my playbook is in the hearts and minds of the American people and I sure as heck wouldn't have a need to be trying to manipulate the folks or my image or the media or you know, anything.

But if I did have a playbook it sure as heck wouldn't be a hundred forty pages long, a hundred forty pages are you friggin' kidding?, I'm sure if I did have a playbook it would be a lot shorter than that, probably just a few notes on a legal pad stapled together, maybe in a nice folder, but just ideas for speeches and whatnot, not a bunch of detailed budgets and fund-raising plans and schedules, well, maybe a schedule, a schedule is a good thing to have, not that you want to be a slave to it or anything.

Lets say somebody was to put together a playbook without my consent or knowledge and I happened to have it with me, while it might have a schedule in it and maybe a few cute anecdotes about my family, I can absolutely guarantee you that it would never ever include a bullet chart of all my potential liabilities and dirty laundry, shoot, that would be crazy, I keep that stuff locked in a safe, and even if I didn't you can be damn sure that I would never forget and leave it in a motel room or anywhere the press could find it and have a field day with it, no, no flies on this guy.

Of course, this is all conjecture since like I said the only playbook I have is in the hearts and minds of the American people.


2006, Mark Hoback