Dems to Oppose Zoellick Nomination

Claiming that he is far too nerdy to be a credible presence, congressional Democrats are mounting an effort to strongly discourage U.S. Trade Representative Robert Zoellick from accepting a nomination to become deputy for incoming Secretary of State Condoleezza.

"For goodness sakes," said one unnamed female senator from a state bordering the Pacific Ocean, "Just look at him. He looks like Wally Cox. He's got those Wally Cox lips and Wally Cox glasses and... you do know who I'm talking about don't you? I hope I'm not showing my age here."

"Of course not," said another unnamed female senator from a state bordering the Pacific Ocean, "You're spot on. I'll bet the majority of our constituents remember Wally from Hollywood Squares, even if they don't remember his extensive film work. I know I'll never forget him as Mister Peepers. Poor Mister Peepers, always getting himself in wacky situations. Well, it just won't do, such a milquetoast being only a heartbeat away from the Secretary of Defense."