President Trying Really Hard to Get Higher Oil Production

photo from Associated Press

"Listen, Abdullah, I really do need some help with these oil problems I've got. I mean, people go to fill up their tanks, we're talking thirty-five, forty dollars a pop."

"Ah, trivial matters, trivial matters."

"Well not to me. Man, those prices go up, people expect you to do something when you're president of the United States."

"But what can you do? You are but one man in a world of billions."

"A lone cowboy..."

"What does this mean, a boy made of cows?"

"Say, that gives me an idea... no, nope, scratch that. Say, uh, Prince - that sure is a pretty dress you're wearing today."

"Oh, thank you, but this is not a dress. This is a traditional Saudi business robe. Perhaps the color is a little flashy for me, do you think? I just felt like something brown today."

"Well, it's real nice. Goes good with your towel."

"This is not a towel, Mister Bush, and I did not make this trip to be insulted. Now take my hand."


"Take my hand, and let us stroll a while, discussing these needs of yours. How much oil do you think you need in order to save face with your people."

"The more the better, that's all I can say. How much you got?"

"Many, many barrels. But not an infinitesimal amount."

"A what? Sorry, I don't speak Saudi."

"Not an unending amount. The supply is limited."

"Well, so is my patience. Look here Prince... Hey! Someone just took my picture!"

"You should try increasing your security."

"That ain't funny!"

"You are correct about that, Mister Bush. In my country, if two men are seen holding hands on a Tuesday, they are both known as Lefty on Wednesday."


2005, Mark Hoback