Politicians Race to Admit
'I Don't Know Jack!'

It was a turned-around, mixed-up, zany sort of day in Washington, as befuddled bureaucrats furiously flapped lips to say the one thing we already knew - 'I don't know Jack!'.

So what happened here? Are politicians keeping their New Year's Resolution? Did April the 1st arrive a little too early this year? Has  the entire town been smoking wacky weed? No, no, and no! They've just heard that entertainer extraordinaire Jack Abramoff is releasing his first CD ever - 'The King of K Street' - and they all want to be first in line to say they've never heard anything like it.

Meeting before Judge Paula Abdul yesterday, Jack was more than ready to talk about some of the music itself. He pleaded guilty to making the first great pop album of 2006, even without the benefit of drugs or mental illness. You've never heard anyone sing like Jack! And the lyrics will make you think and think again. Topics addressed in this eclectic song mix include the joy of fraud, 'Fraudulent Love', failure to disclose illegal payments, on the album's standout number 'Bribery', extreme misrepresentation of assets, 'Just an Illusion' (multiple remixes on the 'Illusion' EP), tax evasion, 'Lazy Afternoon', and the pleasures of fucking with Tom Delay on 'Bug Boy Boogie'.

   Stand back Jack, someone's bout to have a heart attack!

'The King of K Street' - Available Now!

Features the hit single 'Bribery', plus 'Send in the Clowns', 'From Russia, With Lunch', and 'Toxic'.

"Jack Abraham? I guess I've heard of Abraham Lincoln, right? Father of our country? Sure, yeah. Weird with a beard. But Abramoff - doesn't ring a bell. Abraham Lincoln doesn't have a song about me. Does he?" - former House Leader Tom Delay

"Outrageous." White House spokesman Scott McClellan

"They say he's outrageous. I'm sure I wouldn't know." - Rep Bob Ney

"He's got the songs that will make you cry, and the songs that will make me cry." - House Speaker Dennis Hastert


2006, Mark Hoback