Take a look at my face. Just take a good look at my cotton-pickin' face. That's anguish, real down home anguish and pain. Maybe President Clinton could feel your pain, but that's nothing, nothing at all. I am your pain. And that's a heavy load to tow.

Unless you've walked a mile in my moccasins - and you haven't brother, so don't pretend - you just don't have any idea what's going on in this face of mine. It's somewhere between a laugh and a scream. You know, most of us, when presented with the horror that is existence, have a tendency to laugh, not because anything funny is going on, but as a defense mechanism, a way to hold on to our sanity. Just ask your maker, or if you're already crazy, ask your psychiatrist.

I saw this movie a long time ago called 'Angustia', which is the Argentinean word for Anguish. I used to like the slasher movies back before I was born again and realized that the eyes are the portal to the soul. Anyway, it had that little tiny woman from Poltergeist in it, the one who keeps yelling about 'come into the light', so I thought that it might be good for a chuckle. I want to tell you, I got more than I bargained for. Poltergeist lady plays an evil mom who drives her son crazy, and he starts going to the movies and stealing people's eyeballs right out of their head. So in a way, he's stealing the portals to their soul. Pretty heavy stuff, but you haven't heard nothing yet. Half way through the movie the camera pulls back and it's a movie theater where people are watching the very same movie that I am! And they're just as scared as I am, except for one guy who gets so scared that he turns into a psychotic maniac and decides he wants to steal eyeballs too. And then it starts to go back and forth between the real movie and the fake movie and you don't know what's real and what's not anymore. I got so disturbed that I had to leave before it was over and have a drink, because I had this feeling that at any moment the camera could pull back again and I would be in the movie, three times removed from reality, and my eyeballs could be the next to go. It's a lot scarier than it sounds. Take my word for it, because you don't want to see it - it's a life altering experience.

But my point here is that I do have human feelings, just like the Washington Post says. I know the pain felt by citizens who lose loved ones in the war on terror, or even the pain felt by citizens who hit their thumbs really hard with a hammer, or see a movie that scares the living crap out of them..


2006, Mark Hoback