New Puppy Arrives at the White House

"She's here, she's here, Miss Beazley's finally here," sang a happy Laura Bush, skipping around the White House grounds. And it was true, the long wait was finally over, and the ten week-old puppy now had a new home, in the nicest house in America!

As you can see, the radioactive terrier just wouldn't sit still for a picture, preferring instead to cavort around in the root cellar playing with carrots. "It's cause she's just teething, now," explained the first lady. "She's gonna have some big old toothie-woofies, and when she's grown, she'll take a bite out of crime."

Meanwhile, the dog's name has caused a certain amount of dissension. "I don't know," said one White House aid, speaking off the record. "It sounds kind of effete to me, if you catch my drift. Now, Barney, that's a good solid name for a dog." Barney, unfortunately, is no longer a cute little puppy, and is considered to have outlived his political usefulness. He will be put out to stud at the Birch Tree Republican Puppy Farm in Cleveland Ohio as soon as Miss Beazley is housebroken

Miss Beazley was named after Uncle Beazley, a dinosaur in the children's book "The Enormous Egg" by Oliver Butterworth. Other names which were proposed but rejected include Missus Butterworth, Queen Latifah, Madam Hoopengardner, and Spot.


2005, Mark Hoback