Blair: We Helped

In a share of solidarity with his organ grinder, British Prime Minister Tony Blair today announced that the British government will also hold an inquiry into the bogus intelligence used in deciding to help Bush go to war with Iraq. Foreign secretary Jack Straw (not real name) will announce details later today.

"We stand in solidarity with the greatest country on earth," said Blair. "We helped. We helped a lot. We weren't essential but we sure as shit helped. Our intelligence was just as bad as theirs. Well, maybe just as bad, every bit as bad, worse even, but not as important, because the U.S. is king of all countries, and we are assistant king. But we helped."

The British government's official stance is to say that they are not embarrassed by the emerging facts, but proud because "we helped. That student term paper, for example. We really believed it. We thought that... oh, you didn't know about that? Never mind. Let me just reiterate that we helped."

Responding to the David Kay report, Blair said ''What is untrue is to say that he is saying that there was no weapons of mass destruction program or capability, and that Saddam was not a threat.''

"Were," replied Kay, in a memo to Blair.

"What is untrue is to say that he is saying that there was no weapons of mass destruction program or capability, and that Saddam were not a threat.''


2004, M Hoback