4:02  I've got to admit to being a little irritated by Senator Chafee putting a hold on my nomination for UN ambassador. I mean, Joe Biden, I would understand that. Ted Kennedy, I would expect that. But a Republican senator from the great state of Rhode Island? I've got to say that totally knocked me for a loop. Go figure.

4:05  You know, when I think about it, I'd have to say that Chafee is one of those RINOs - Republican in name only. And it kind of galls me that he would be disloyal to the party that has supported him so ably. Huh. What have I ever done to... No, I'm not going to dwell on it, I'm too big a man. I'm asking myself, what do I even care about getting a vote from a man like that.

4:08 It would be just fine if that worm Chafee loses his primary next week... Not that I give a shit. He'll probably get beaten by the Democrats anyway. And I say good riddance. Who cares about a runty little state like Rhode Island to begin with? Not me. Screw him and his sorry ass little state.

4:12  When I think about it, I really hate Lincoln Chafee, not that I'm dwelling on him, but he's one ugly son of a bitch, and he's got a sour look on his face like someone just slipped a slice of cheesecake into his knickers. I bet his wife is a real beast. Probably a whore as well.

4:17  Lincoln Motherfucking Chafee, you turncoat son of a bitch, I am going to gouge your eyes out and use 'em for ping pong balls if I ever catch you alone. And I will, boy, I will. That's me over in the shadows with the long knives. That sound, no, it's not the trees rustling in the wind, dragging their branches across your bedroom window, that's me and my hangman's noose, boy, coming forth to carry you home in a burlap sack. Yeah Chafee, I'll cut you down before you're able to draw that last breath, cause I've got bigger better plans for a piece of pond scum like you. Plans you'll know soon enough, boy - that strange man in the corner of the fourth level parking lot, the one drinking motor oil and farting lightning, that's not me, boy, that's just a distraction to keep you from noticing me in the backseat, fondling my big ass Desert Eagle .44 Magnum, the last thing you're ever likely to see. Ann Coulter was right - they did shoot the wrong Lincoln. John Wilkes Booth, you dumb motherfucker, you don't even have the sense to be born in the right century. Look out asswipe, I'm coming for you like a swarm of hornets..

2006, Mark Hoback