Responding this morning to what aids called 'a wild hair up his ass', President Bush veered off his bike path and pedaled off his Crawford, Texas ranch, up a dusty dirt road, onto Route 616, across Heywood Pass, and into the encampment occupied by anti-war protesters.

"I wanna see, Cindy," the president bellowed. "Bring her on."

Told that Sheehan had left the camp hours earlier, the president was clearly disappointed. "I guess I should have know she wasn't serious all along, but still, being the compassion president and whatnot, I made the effort. Mama told me not to come. She said, that ain't no way to have fun, son. Still, you mind if I take a look around? She might be behind that tumbleweed over there."

After checking behind the tumbleweed, two cacti, and a thicket, Bush wished the protestors good luck in their endeavors, and pedaled sadly back to the ranch.

 

2005, Mark Hoback