President Bush has Nominated Mike Johanns for his new Secretary of Agri...

Jack: Scott, Scott, wait just a cotton pickin second. That's not the president.

McClellan: Yes it is. Slim?

Slim: Are you sure that's the president?

McClellan: Absolutely sure, and if you...

Slim: Follow up on that. The president sure looks awfully two dimensional there. Come clean, McClellan. That's not the president, is it?

McClellan: To answer your question, the president is awfully two dimensional. Now if we can move along with other business. Helen.

Helen: I recognize it now. That's the cardboard cutout that they use for tourists down on Pennsylvania Avenue.

McClellan: No it's not.

Helen: Yes it is. I've been a member of the White House Press Corp for thirty-two years and I've seen a lot of flat...

Big Slick: She's right, Scott. Five bucks, get your photograph with the president. Got one right here with me... kinda artistic... I had the guy take a shot of the cardboard Bush looking at the cardboard Condi...

McClellan: Let me see... Oh, man, that's really stupid.

Big Slick: Well, sorry Scott, I'd had a couple martinis and it seemed like a funny idea.

Janine: Fox News agrees with you, Scott. It's stupid.

Unnamed Foreign Correspondent: Hee, hee...

McClellan: Quit your laughing, Selar. Okay, this is not for attribution. If you must know, the president is doing a little down time in Crawford. Long campaign and all. He needs a little R&R.

Juan: Sure, man. Don't get so uptight.

McClellan: He is in constant contact. And the cabinet decisions are all his. So there. Back to you, Janine, since you're the only one who's been polite.

Janine: Will that really be the president turning on the Christmas tree tonight.

McClellan: Yes, it will be. He's got a remote.


2004, Mark Hoback