Okay, Gerhard, what happened next?

"Well, the Jew walks in, sees the ghost of Arafat in his slippers, and says 'Oy vey! I don't care if they do call it a mesusalah, next time I'm going to take a hammer with me. Ho ho ho ho ho."


"Heh? Just heh? My joke just gets a heh? Let's here what you've got, Mister Funnypuss."

"Oh, don't be such a prig, Gerhardt. I didn't understand half the words you were using. Have you heard the one about me and Chirac in the sauna?"

"You and Chirac in the sauna? No. That one I have not heard."

"Okay, Jacques and I were in a sauna and..."

"Where was this sauna, Mister President?"

"It was, I guess it was in the Middle-east. And Tony Blair was there, too, but he had his pants on. So anyway..."

"Tony Blair was there also? Why was Germany not invited to this summit?"

"It wasn't a summit, it was a sauna. Any way, all of a sudden we hear ringing, and then Tony starts talking into his hand..."

"Oh, yes, the imbedded palm-phone. I've had one for about six months, and frankly, I don't know how I ever did without it."

"I just have the secret service guys carry my phone for me, Gerhard. I mean, as leader of the free world, I don't have time for all that sort of nonsense. But, like I was getting up to, Chirac was real surprised at the one Tony had. And then he hears this voice, 'Hey George, don't forget that you've got a 1:45 with the Netherlands'."

"I am puzzled."

"Hold on, Gerhardt. I tell Jacques that it's my intercom he's hearing. See this square spot on my back, here?"

"That looks painful."

"Not too bad, really. You get used to it. But anyway, Jacques seems real embarrassed, cause he's such a low-tech leader, and he runs out of the sauna. But then a minute later he returns and moons Tony and me. And you know what he's got hanging out of his ass?"

"No, Mister President. I would not even care to venture a guess."

"Well, it's a long piece of toilet paper, musta been three feet long. And Jacques turns to us and says, "Pardon j'un moment, I think I'm getting a fax"."

"A telefax?"

"Yeah. What you said."

"Ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha hee. Very funny, very funny indeed. I can see it all in my mind's eye. Most clever, Mister President."

"Well, it's off to meet the press."

"After you."


2005, Mark Hoback