White House Criticizes Clintons on Young hypocrisy

“I don’t know what Arkansawnian is for crapola, but this is a gigantic flaming bag of it, and I'm not going to put it out,” said presidential fluffer Tony Snow, who frowned upon realizing that this metaphor was an inadequate setup for his next line of drivel. "I mean, I am going to put it out. I am going to put out the truth - Bill Clinton got a blow job, while all Josh Young is guilty of is giving pleasure to a little girl."

Young had been looking at up to five years in prison after being convicted by a grand jury in March of lying about repeated sexual contact with the eight year old daughter of his non-English speaking washerwoman, an illegal Guatemalan immigrant. His defense team had argued that since the girl - referred to only as 'Juanita Doe' - was the daughter of an illegal alien, she was 'double illegal' and 'basically up for grabs'. They also argued that Young 'had never received a blow job, unlike some presidents we could mention'.

A number of members of Congress are suspicious that Young was in fact investigating advanced interrogation techniques for the vice president's office, and that the Bush pardon effectively immunizes the administration from the possibility of higher-ups being implicated. Rep. John Conyers has scheduled hearings  Wednesday on Bush’s commutation of Young’s 5-year sentence, an event Snow characterizes as 'crapola'.

“Well, fine, knock himself out, Conyers” Snow said dyslexicaly. “I mean, perfectly happy, me. And while he’s at it, why doesn’t he look at August 7th, 1997?”

Although never presented as evidence in his impeachment trial, August 7 1997 is the date on which some investigators claim President Clinton was the recipient of a rumored big whopping  blow job.