Rumsfeld Claims Not To Have Seen the Final Episode of Friends.

Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld stunned members of Congress this morning by admitting that he had not watched the final episode of America's most beloved situation comedy.

"I've seen the executive summary," Rumsfeld told Senate Armed Services Committee Chairman Sen. John Warner. "I misplaced the TV Guide, and experts in my household were unable to locate it until sometime Tuesday. The cover, I did see that, early on, and Phoebe looked stunning. But  Thursday's listings... Whether -- I read every page -- no. I think I did inquire about the pictures and was told that there were only two or three."

Rumsfeld also revealed that information on the episode was not shared with the president.

"I was just surfing the channels, that's how I found out about it," Bush relayed through man-whore Scott McClellan. "I saw Ross and Rachel in bed, and it looked like a very special episode. It caught me totally by surprise."

This is not the first time in recent days that Rumsfeld has been accused of paying inadequate attention to events unfolding around him. Gen. Richard B. Myers revealed only a week ago that Rumsfeld had not read his mail from Geico. Shaking his head sadly, the General stated "He could have saved a lot of money on his car insurance."


2004, Mark Hoback