The Hunger

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Eight of Saddam Hussein's jailed deputies, who refused to eat breakfast as part of what one of their lawyers described as a "hunger strike", are eating again, the U.S. military says. "Those who didn't eat breakfast this morning requested a late breakfast around 11 a.m., which was provided to them."

Mushaf: So is the western press filled with dramatic tales of our hunger strike?

al-Kabong: Surprisingly, they are not. Most of the major outlets simply chose to ignore our plight.

Mushaf: Curses! The press are dogs.

Momar: Speaking of dogs, they are serving wieners for lunch in the prison cafeteria.

al-Kabong: Bah! I have half a mind to boycott lunch entirely as a protest against the imperialists infidels that keep us locked away from the sauna, lo these many days.

Momar: A worthy idea my friend, a worthy idea. But I myself am still too weak from yesterdays hunger strike to join you in your effort.

Mushaf: If my memory is not too diminished by my brutal interment, I would state with some certainty that it was none other than you, Momar, who brought a premature end to our hunger strike.

Momar: This is true. My will was not as strong as the pangs of hunger which tormented me.

al-Kabong: You could at least have held out until lunch.

Momar: Forgive me. The smell of hash browns overwhelmed my senses.

Mushaf: I understand, my noble brother. My mouth also was moved to water. Perhaps we should eat many wieners now and then tonight we can taunt the infidels with our refusal to eat the dinner which they have long slaved over.

Momar: That would be impossible. Tonight is pork chop night.

al-Kabong: Ah, pork chop night. You are right, Momar, it would be impossible. When do we have gruel again?

Mushaf: Thursday, but it's only the first course...

al-Kabong: Then we shall skip the first course.

Momar: Skip the first course! You are wise, al-Kabong!

Mushaf: Wise indeed! Wait until Al Jazeera hears of this! Now let us make haste, my brothers, the cafeteria opens in five minutes.

2004, Mark Hoback