AdWatch: New Kerry Ad Calls Bush a Hedgehog

Details of a new television ad from John Kerry set to begin airing Thursday:

TITLE: "Hedgehog"

LENGTH: 30 seconds.

PRODUCER: Maureen Bunyon.

SCRIPT:

Kerry: "I'm John F Kerry and I approve this message."

Image: Bust of Archilochus slowly dissolves into a bust of Bush. A very cute but prickly hedgehog scampers by.

Announcer: The ancient Greeks were very wise, much like Democratic nominee John Kerry. The poet Archilochus once divided the world into two types of people, Hedgehogs and Foxes. Foxes were much like Senator Kerry, knowing a great many things, and flexible enough to change course at a moments notice. Hedgehogs, on the other hand, were dumb, ugly, and always getting into mischief. Not only that, they were covered with sharp spikes which could prick the finger. That is where the modern insult 'prick' came from.

Image: Hedgehog stares into the camera, dissolving into a picture of George Bush.

Announcer: They say the hedgehog is capable of knowing only one thing. And that one thing is wrong.

Image: Bush standing in front of a mission accomplished banner. Cut to: John Kerry, sadly shaking his head.

Announcer: Can we really afford another four years of a leader no smarter than a hedgehog? What if something really important were to happen?

Image: A grateful American veteran hands John Kerry a fresh tuna fish hoagie with extra garden fresh tomatoes.

Announcer: John Kerry. Just like you, he's smart enough to eat a fresh tuna fish hoagie with extra garden fresh tomatoes.

Paid for by the Democratic National Committee.