al-Zarqawi Communications Infrastructure Located
the infamous mailbox of horror

Fallujah, Iraq - U.S. soldiers discovered a mailbox in southern Fallujah today which top U.S. military intelligence officials believe to be a main communications center for the followers of Jordanian terrorist leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.  Zarqawi's group is believed to be responsible for numerous bombings, kidnappings and beheadings, as well as extensive phony sweepstakes offerings which have been flooding mailboxes across Iraq.

Colonel James Davis, who was in charge of the operation which identified and destroyed the mailbox, said that it was not found earlier because "it was just so doggone cute. I mean, all those bright, cheery colors... and that's a nice little scene by one of those French painters... a pretty lady walking down by the lake with a parasol. I tell you something. The French may be rat bastards, but they sure can paint a pretty picture."

Nevertheless, this was the long sought mailbox of horror that troops have been trying to identify. Located at 521 Desolation Row in the Springdale neighborhood of Fallujah, all outgoing mail had already been picked up when it was discovered. A Iraqi postal worker was seen approaching, but ran quickly away shouting "Aye Yi Yi!" when he found that the box was surrounded. The house was checked for Zarqawi's presence, but when soldiers knocked on the door, they were told that there was nobody home.

 

2004, Mark Hoback