Bush Family Dissed by Really Rude Reverend.

In a rare joint statement, President Bush 41 and President Bush 43 vowed "never again to darken the door of an Episcopal church, or any other church full of smart asses".

The remarks came after the Bush family - on retreat in the simple Texas town of Kennebunkport - was verbally harassed by the Very Rev. Martin Luther Agnew at what Maine's Morning Sentinel describes as "a packed Episcopal church just down the road from the Bush family's seaside estate. Its oceanfront parking lot was filled with luxury cars made by Jaguar, Mercedes, BMW and Volvo, testament to the wealth of the summer visitors at this southeast Maine resort." All well and good, but you don't have to rub our face in it.

Oh, but the Very Reverend did, telling the congregation that Jesus would not approve their gated communities, and suggesting that they sell all their worldly possessions, giving their money to... Oh, I can't go on. It was ludicrous.

"That a pretty nice robe old Martin Luther was wearing up there," said the elder Bush. "Maybe he'd like to turn that in for some alms."

The preacher then went on to make brutal fun of the former president's golf game, telling the ancient parable of the dead ants and the golf ball. While pretending to swing a club, he enacted a scene in which an incompetent president was willing to sacrifice hundreds of lives for his own personal gratification. Although these were only ant lives, it is believed that Agnew was attempting to use a metaphor. The insane reverend then walked over to the presidential pew, where he attempted to give the senior Bush a high five. 41 was not amused.

"My daddy's a good golfer," said Bush 43. "And I tell you another thing - he wouldn't ever play on a course with all those ants."


2004, Mark Hoback